I realized I have not posted in a while. Two months tomorrow to be exact so here is an update. I decided at the end of May to get rebaptized. I did this to leave it in the water. The trauma, the fear, the anxiety, the depression that the enemy used against me for most of my adult life.

Things have been so great. I have my joy back. I have found peace. I am learning that there were a lot of things I did out of my brokenness. Habits I formed that I needed to unlearn, mindsets I had I needed to take captive, learning to love myself and see myself the way God sees me has not been the easiest task but is definitely better when you are healed.

Even in the midst of all of the incredible things God has done, it is still hard. Becoming who God called you to be is an intentional decision every single day. Your flesh does not get less fleshy, the enemy does not stop coming after your purpose and destiny, your mind does not automatically stop the intrusive thoughts. It takes being intentional with your time, your thoughts, your energy.

There are still promises that God has given me that I am not yet walking in and some days I really struggle with that. Sometimes just trusting Him and His timing is difficult when everything in your life seems contrary to His promise. When literally nothing makes sense that He is asking of you. When you want to let go of someone and He is saying “No, I want you to pray for them.”

When you say to Him, “God you said…” He has not forgotten. He knows the exact moment that promise will come to pass. He also understands your frustration, your hurt, your lack of understanding.

Sometimes He is asking you to trust Him a little bit deeper. Sometimes He is asking you to hold on just a little bit longer. Sometimes He is asking you to surrender the promise He gave to Him. When the promise becomes more of a concern to us than the promise maker, it has become an idol in our lives. Obviously, we do not want to call it that but if we do not call it what it is then it will continue to have a hold of us.

Just remember, God is not a man that He should lie (Numbers 23.19). His Word does not come back void (Isaiah 55:11). He who began a good work in you will see it through to completion (Philippians 1:6). God will do more than you can ask, think, or imagine (Ephesians 3:20). Stand on His Word and walk in obedience even when it does not make sense. One day you will be glad that you did.